I applaud the effort: you live almost 3 hours away.

funny-kids-7

“My name is J****, i live in Lititz, PA. I saw your profile and wanted to drop a message. I’m divorced for 2 years and don’t have any children. I do have two precious dogs that are my kids. To me, everything else is negotiable. I work as a trauma surgeon and that does take most of my time. I travel abroad a couple times a year usually and i do a lot of reading and some research. I like getting to know someones mind and talking about philosophies and points of view. I’m not sure if this is what you would be interested in, but if you are please hit be back. Best wishes, J****”

Dear J,

Let’s begin with the fact that you live in a different state. Now let’s say I lived in Arlington and you lived in Bethesda. Ok, not a deal breaker, but you live over 120 miles away. I hope you’re prepared to pitch in for gas money. Strike one.

Next, let’s talk about the fact that you’re a surgeon and that takes up most of your time. How are you going to find the time to drive more than 120 miles each way to take me out to dinner or go to a movie? Strike two.

Finally, you are 12 years older than me, at least 3 times my weight and you have more pictures of your car than you do of yourself. The list really goes on and on. Strike three, four, five. I think you’re out.

xoxo,
French My Toast

P.S. That “action” shot of you doing surgery…did you tell the photographer that you were going to put it on your online dating profile? I’m not squeamish, but a little advice: save the bloody pictures for the second date.

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