A Fluffernutter’s Guide to Match.com

So we recently met a guy who swears by the below method. He claims it is almost flawless. Well, sir here is what FMT thinks of your flawless plan. Maybe you will take our suggestions into consideration and then your next relationship might last  a little longer 🙂 And might end you sending  a lot less creepy texts with smiley faces 🙂


Match Template:
Almost flawless, 4 parts:
1) Neg, any funny-teasing joke you can make about her (‘jorts’ is an example) end with a smiley face, all is forgiven when a statement is finished with a smiley face 🙂 – Yes, jokes and teasing is cute. Please stop sending me a smiley face after every message. You look like you belong in a psych ward doing that..
2) Compliment, something, not on looks, or profession, anything else is good. personality, etc, – This is actually a good tip. However we will take any and all compliments.
3) Something introspective, this is where you look deep.. this doesn’t have to be actually backed by anything, you can just create the illusion you go beyond the surface. Put a statement out there where you seem to know more about her than what’s in her profile, or in her messages. – This is just odd, kinda like saying “We really have a connection after the first date…”
4) 1 Question. Questions keep the conversation going. Never more than 1 question per email, more than one question makes girls confused 🙂 – Really? You should probably screen the girls you message closer then if they can not handle more than one question at a time..
You may have to repeat emails in this format several times..
This method is practically flawless. Give yourself a week and half / two weeks before you expect to meet the girl. Plan out several days ahead, makes you seem important 🙂 I always ‘have a gift-card’ for a restaurant, gives you an excuse to get drunk together, without setting a precedent of you paying for her 🙂 – The gift card idea on the first date just makes you seem cheap and even cheaper if you have no expectation in paying for the girl on the first date anyways.. Trust me if you don’t you won’t get the second date.

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