Being Politically Correct in 2013

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Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America , Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as ‘HILLBILLIES.’
You must now refer to them as
APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS. And furthermore…
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a ‘BABE’ or a ‘CHICK’ – She is a ‘BREASTED AMERICAN. ‘
2. She is not ‘EASY’ – She is ‘HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE..’
3. She is not a ‘DUMB BLONDE’ – She is a ‘LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY..’
4. She has not ‘BEEN AROUND’ – She is a ‘PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.’
5. She does not ‘NAG’ you – She becomes ‘VERBALLY REPETITIVE.’
6. She is not a ‘TWO-BIT HOOKER’ – She is a ‘LOW COST PROVIDER.’
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a ‘BEER GUT’ – He has developed a ‘LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.’

2. He is not a ‘BAD DANCER’ – He is ‘OVERLY CAUCASIAN.’

3.. He does not ‘GET LOST ALL THE TIME’ – HE ‘INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.’

4. He is not ‘BALDING’ – He is in ‘FOLLICLE REGRESSION.’

5. He does not act like a ‘TOTAL ASS’ – He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.

6. It’s not his ‘CRACK’ you see hanging out of his pants – It’s ‘TROUSER CLEAVAGE..’
XOXO – Poinsettia
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