I applaud the effort: you’re kinda creepy.

“mutual sensibilities?

Oh my. I’m writing you a non-linear email because, well… you’re probably tired of all the emails saying, “Hey baby, ur hot!” So in the spirit of uniqueness, the ending is first. Ready? You and I are gonna meet. Likely for sushi. Or a ghost tour. Or we’ll see who can score the perfect tomato at the farmer’s market. Or anything else ambitious. Now, about your profile. It’s wonderfully vague. You obviously crafted it to leave the reader wanting more. It worked! It subtly speaks of a confident woman… dare I say, charming? With some universal luck, this email will find you. Checkout my profile and consider saying hi. Pardon my enthusiasm, but wow! Hello. I’m R*****. :)”
Dear R,
In the spirit of your uniqueness and beginning with the end…let me spell it out for you. Not gonna happen.
xoxo,
French My Toast
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